When communication is good, it can make your marriage … when it’s bad, it can break it. Here are 3 communication hacks to get on the same page and stay there!

Tame Your Tongue by Taming Your Heart

Ever find yourself stewing over something silly? You’ve rehearsed your diatribe three times, ready to deliver it when your spouse walks in the door. Instead of trusting your emotions in the moment, take a step back. Take time to pause and check what’s in your heart. Spend time entertaining positive thoughts about your spouse. Think and speak gratitude, not complaint. It is then that you will be able to verbalize what you love about them, not what is lacking. Matthew 12:34-36 says “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.”

2. Practice Praise

We understand that most things in life take practice in order to improve, but it’s easy to overlook how much we can improve in communication. In marriage, we can ensure success by lacing our conversations with praise. Taming our tongue takes effort to keep ourselves from saying something bad, but if we really want to take our communication to the next level, we need to learn to practice praise. It may take a lot of discipline at first, but remember practice makes perfect, and practicing this habit is worth our effort. What are some positive adjectives, verbs, and nouns you can provide to praise your spouse?

3. Believe the Best About Each Other

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Every man is entitled to be valued by his best moments.” If you find yourself focused on your spouses’ worst moments and worst qualities, maybe it’s time to flip the script, especially before entering more serious discussions. In areas we don’t always see eye-to-eye, it’s important to believe the best about one another’s motives. The more we look for the good in our spouse, the more we draw out their best. If both partners feel trusted and valued, the heavy conversations feel a lot lighter.

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