{"id":1261,"date":"2018-07-06T17:35:51","date_gmt":"2018-07-06T17:35:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marriedforapurpose.com\/?p=1261"},"modified":"2020-08-28T20:16:13","modified_gmt":"2020-08-28T20:16:13","slug":"5-steps-to-grow-better-not-bitter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marriedforapurpose.com\/5-steps-to-grow-better-not-bitter\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Steps to Grow Better, NOT Bitter"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Don&#8217;t Grow Bitter &#8230;\u00a0Grow Better!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Early on in our marriage we carried a lot of unhealthy vows like:\u00a0<em>(Julie) I\u2019ll never allow anyone to hurt me like that again! I\u2019ll never be made a fool of! I won\u2019t ever be that vulnerable again!\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>(Greg) <em>No woman\u2019s gonna control me. I&#8217;m a grown man. I can do what I want.\u00a0<\/em>Little did we\u00a0know, how significantly, those\u00a0<em>vows<\/em>\u00a0would impact and sabotage our life and marriage!<\/p>\n<p>It took a lot of effort to let go of those vows and it certainly didn&#8217;t happen overnight &#8230; as a matter of fact &#8230; we caused one another a lot of pain. We made a lot of blunders. Our choices led us to one final decision. We faced the question every couple must face at one time or another. Would we live bitter, or become better? Would we hold on to our offenses? Or, would we choose to forgive and let go of bitterness?<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>This Week&#8217;s Thought<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s been written<em>\u00a0\u201cTo err is human; to forgive, divine.\u201d\u00a0<\/em>Though not necessarily found directly within Scripture, this phrase is deeply profound and contains the key to a happy marriage.\u00a0Despite our natural inclination to hold on to offenses, God commands each one of us to forgive, as He has forgiven.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>This Week&#8217;s Scripture<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Colossians 3:13 says,<strong><em> \u201cBear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But\u2026forgiveness can be tough. Oh, we may be willing to forgive, but find ourselves powerless to live out that forgiveness with complete freedom. We find ourselves trying to will away negative emotions of un-forgiveness, only to find it resurfacing when we least expect it. We understand that forgiveness is a choice and a mandate for marriage\u2014but all too often we fail to be able to extend it, completely.<\/p>\n<p>So, the million-dollar question remaining is\u00a0<em>how?<\/em>\u00a0How do you overcome\u00a0bitterness, and freely forgive?<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>This Week&#8217;s Application<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\nHere are a few suggestions that helped us in our journey:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Submit your pain to God.\u00a0<\/strong>Forgiveness isn\u2019t easy\u2026but it is liberating. If you feel a little stuck, but want your marriage to\u00a0thrive, pick up a copy of\u00a0<em><u><a href=\"http:\/\/www.juliegorman.com\/books\">What I Wish My Mother Had Told Me About Marriage: Unlocking 10 Secrets to a Thriving Marriage.<\/a><\/u>\u00a0<\/em>We unpack specific insights on how to truly surrender your pain to God to experience incredible breakthrough.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Remember, sometimes pain is expressed in stages. <\/strong>The severity of the wound often determines the length of the healing process\u2014don\u2019t give up. God is near and ready to help. He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)<\/li>\n<li><strong>Confess any hatred or anger you may be harboring<\/strong>.\u00a0 Address your emotions head on. Express them to God in simple sentences. Ask for help and the ability to forgive. Vocalize forgiveness out loud. It\u2019s good to hear yourself say it. \u201cI forgive (interject name) for (interject offense). God help me to remember this offense no longer.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Remember God is your defender.<\/strong>\u00a0He is faithful to protect. Don\u2019t take vengeance into your own hands. God will protect far better than you can defend yourself. Ask for His intervention.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Recognize you can\u2019t control another person\u2019s actions.<\/strong>\u00a0Each of us will give an account for our own actions, not one another\u2019s. Submit your life to the principles of God\u2019s Word and allow Him to convict your offender.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Finally, freedom starts with a choice to forgive.<\/strong>\u00a0We can\u2019t change our past, but we need NOT be a victim to it. If we harbor bitterness it only destroys us. So, even if you don\u2019t feel like forgiving, begin by praying \u201cLord I\u2019m willing to be willing.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><strong><em>This Week&#8217;s Prayer<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>God, we know we&#8217;re not big enough but You are. We know we\u00a0can\u2019t but we\u00a0trust that\u00a0You can. Help us to take every thought captive to the cross and\u00a0submit our spirit of timidity to YOUR endless authority and power. Fill us with FAITH and CONFIDENCE that YOU will NEVER let us down; we can trust in YOU! In Jesus&#8217; name, amen.<\/p>\n<span class=\"et_bloom_bottom_trigger\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Don&#8217;t Grow Bitter &#8230;\u00a0Grow Better! Early on in our marriage we carried a lot of unhealthy vows like:\u00a0(Julie) I\u2019ll never allow anyone to hurt me like that again! I\u2019ll never be made a fool of! I won\u2019t ever be that vulnerable again!\u00a0\u00a0(Greg) No woman\u2019s gonna control me. I&#8217;m a grown man. I can do what [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1262,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v22.0 (Yoast SEO v22.0) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>5 Steps to Grow Better, NOT Bitter<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/marriedforapurpose.com\/5-steps-to-grow-better-not-bitter\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"5 Steps to Grow Better, NOT Bitter\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Don&#039;t Grow Bitter ...\u00a0Grow Better! 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