Human tendency tends to focus on what is wrong instead of what is right. As a society, we focus on all the areas of our life that we need to improve on, rather than focusing on what we excel at. We are taught to focus on our areas of weakness rather than our areas of strength; this philosophy spills over into our marriages.

Whatever problems exist within your marriage, one of the most important acts you can do is to live unto God and not your problems. Focus on developing your spiritual walk; draw closer to God.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 state, “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” God is always present in every season of our life. By focusing our attention on Him, His love provides joy even in the darkest of seasons.

I am not implying not to address issues—simply not to live unto them. Here is a perfect example—my children sometimes bicker back and forth (especially when we are in the car.) Eventually, they draw me into their arguments saying, “Mommy, Sommer hit me.” “Mommy, Joshua spit on me.” “Mommy, Courtney’s ignoring us and won’t play.” Their confrontations go on and on. They are consumed with “Their issues.”

My response, “Stop fighting. Why don’t you listen to this praise song for a little while? Or, Hey, I’ve got an idea; why don’t you play I spy?” By redirecting their focus, their fights diminish, and our car ride becomes more enjoyable.

Though marriage relationships tend to be a little more complex, the principle remains the same. As we divert our love and devotion toward God, He helps to bridge the chasms between us making our journey more peaceful. He is our Counselor and our Prince of Peace.

Greg and I faced major battles. Like all married couples, we struggled with finances, experienced job changes, and overcame many other obstacles—yet survive! Not only did we survive but we became best friends.

How?—by choosing to live unto God, and not our problems; but how do you live unto God and not your problems?


2. Thank God for your spouse.

3. Embrace their differences. Try to recognize how their differences help to complete and compliment you.

4. Pray together. No matter how difficult your battle may appear, God is near. If we practice praying together, our battles begin to become smaller because our circumstances automatically take their rightful proportionate size when we spend time in God’s presence.

5. Ask God to give you a common mission. Working towards a common goal unites hearts. A common vision ignites passion and stirs intimacy.

Life is messy; it seldom turns out like we expect it to…But God graciously surprises us with healing, laughter, joy, and peace when we focus on Him in the midst of our struggles.

Wanna grow together as a couple? Pick up a copy of What I Wish My Mother Had Told Me About Marriage: Unlocking 10 Secrets to a Thriving Marriage and read it together.



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