Date Your Spouse!

A Blog Submission by Marriage Multipliers ~ Brandon and Melissa Miller

On our fourth marriage session, our counselor asked, “what do you guys think you need?” Truthfully, during that season of marriage we felt like we were running on a treadmill. Ever been there? Ever held the same conversation over and over again but not ever getting anywhere? That was us!

When our counselor asked that question, God instantly dropped HIS an answer … we needed use the money allocated for counseling to date one another. At the time, finding extra money, time, and childcare wasn’t easy … but we realized if we found creative solutions to make weekly counseling happen, we could certainly find creative solutions to make weekly dates occur.

We created a rule: no problem-talk on dates. We aimed to ensure our dates fulfilled their purpose of celebrating our love. We knew we needed to shift our focus, but neither one of us realized how much. A prescription for dating was exactly what we needed. Celebrating our love changed our marriage, our life, and our understanding of the power of our focus.

It’s not easy to push pause and celebrate. In fact, most times it’s flat out inconvenient. To-do lists pile up. We feel overwhelmed by life’s demands, while the idea of piddling around with our spouse feels counterproductive. But without dating, we magnify our problems.

Our weekly rhythm of celebration resets our minds to focus on the things “worthy of praise”. What we realized, during that season of marriage, that still stands true today, is that continually focusing on our problems didn’t help. We needed to remember what we were fighting for – our love. Laughing together, slowing down, and creating new memories on our dates reminds us we are on the same side with the same goal. It turns out, staying on the same side with the same goal is exactly how problems get solved.

This Week’s Thought

Remember what your fighting for!

This Week’s Scripture

Philippians 4:8 shares where to put our focus: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is anything excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

This Week’s Application

This week, commit to dating one another. Schedule routine date nights. Revist last week’s and this week’s post, together, and take time to establish YOUR OWN rules for the road, for dating.

This Week’s Prayer

Father, help us to connect. Enrich our conversations with laughter and life. Help us to unite and live into YOUR perfect purpose. In Jesus’ name, amen.



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